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19/09/2012

The blacks and blues may fade away but hidden scars won't go away.




"Why me?"....the cry of a woman whose child had just been raped. The occurrence of these kinds of issues is seemingly on the rise. The truth is that it isn't! The media boom in Nigeria has only just helped to broadcast stories such as this one.

The adverse effect of sexual abuse on a child's future and education is astronomical. I have witnessed how devastating it can be. Everyone needs to be on the watch to protect children. Adults need not shy away from discussing sexual issues with children from an early age. You may think they (kids) are not aware but they are! Trust me, children get educated from their surroundings; much more than is pleasing to bring to our knowledge! You will find that children do not forget their childhood experiences when they become adults. Has yours been deleted from your memory? I'm sure it's a unanimous NO.

How accurate are children's long-term memories? One study shows that  an infant's memory is fragile and short-lived, except from memory of perceptual-motor actions (movement related skills). Young children can remember a great deal of information. Memories of pre-schoolers are also quite consistent. A recent study tells that young children are less likely to reject that there was  occurrence of an abuse than older children, the older ones may just be too scared to disclose. There is a consensus among memory researchers and clinicians that most people who were sexually abused as children remember all or part of what happened to them although they may not FULLY disclose it. Most leaders in the field agree that although it is a rare occurrence, a memory of early childhood abuse that has been forgotten can be remembered later. So, there is an alarming percentage that memories of the experience stays with them.

We must teach children to speak up boldly, protect themselves in their own little way and be able to determine when an act is wrong. We may leave our kids with home-helps and teachers; but we must leave them with the confidence that they can TELL US whatever is going on when we are not with them. Make them know that they shouldn't tell a lie whether GOOD or BAD! They should be confident knowing that we have their backs and will stand by them no matter what! If the CULPRITS find that a particular child can't be lured so easily, a good percentage of these 'hideous' crimes will be reduced. 

Share an unbreakable and undivided bond with your child. Do not put your child's future at risk by just being distant to matters such as these. Never stop asking questions as my husband will insist! Keep track of their movements. Give your child a voice. Build a confident and  an abuse-free child.